The first person voted off....

I've decided to start keeping two blogs partially professional and partially for my sanity. I'm not always sure which is more important.

So, I watched the Survivor finale tonight, and I'm reminded that I always tell myself that I would suck at Survivor. Beyond the obligatory fat jokes, it's the people thing that would kill me. Not the lying, cut-throat portion, but the knowing who I can trust and how people perceive me. After a few things that happened last week, I'm convinced that I am not controlling people's perception of me very well.

There is a true discipline in life about maintaining a sense of who you are in relation to the rest of the world. You occupy space with people looking for the occasional person you relax and rest from your appearance. I'm sure there is a greater purpose that says - always be of one mind, but I don't see people reacting properly to that.

Regardless of what people say or think, it becomes imperative to be able judge and adjust to people's reactions. If you can't predict that outcome, then you need to be able to roll with it.

I roll ok, but I need to not be in those situations. I need to find a center to find my balance and avoid the misstep of people's perceptions of me.

Five Points On the Horizon

Everything changes so quickly. For my senior prom, I took this sophomore girl who I thought liked me, and turns out just wanted a way to the senior prom. I found her name last night on an alumni message board. Within two seconds, I was flooded with memories of who I was then. The tux, the bad mix-tapes, the car, the air of invincibility.

That's the one that gets me. I was 17 and certain I was going to die of a brain tumor. At 18, I ten-foot tall and bullett-proof. Nothing has really changed, but everything has. I'm a better person than I was then I hope, but not smarter, or prettier or anything else.

It's tough just standing up and saying, this is who I am and it's pretty good.

Lot going on. Film fest stuff this weekend. Starting my new job. Looking for a better one. Being with friends.

Life is kind of special.

before I go - shout out to my bud Em in Wisconsin. Got her first producer credit yesterday and was quite tickled by it.

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Horoscope Newsletter: Throw away all that extra baggage; it's time to clean out the hidden corners of your life and get things in better order.

Yahoo HoroscopeEverything is happening on schedule, so quit looking at your watch all the time. You set things up so nicely that now you really don't have to worry about it. Relax and enjoy.

Up with the sun, gone with the wind

Step two, out in the big ole' world.

I get my stuff for my new job tomorrow, looking forward to it. Just in case, I'm covering my butt by having appointments to deliver phone books and do telemarketing. The money should be good, and I may deliver phone books too cause I need the money.

The real deal in my head is 'what's next'. I mean, I am destined for a greater life than this one, I just haven't found it yet. What do I need to be doing to spring myself into the success that's meant for me? A movie, a script, a woman, a lottery number?

Having some trouble getting the teaching thing going. Everybody wants a terminal degree. I offered cancer, so far no takers. Which leaves me with the idea that I've got to go back to school next year. I love school, I hate student loans. Hmm.

Before I go, rock on to my brother Freeman, who got his film into the Rural Route Film Fest. Give him the props.

Peace out to you all.

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

Horoscope Newsletter: You may find yourself in a fight to the finish over an issue, which needn't have escalated to this point. Now, however, it's up to you.

Yahoo Horoscope: Even if you're not a farmer or gardener, you feel very connected to the world right now. Your grip is secure but comfortable. Match up the things that belong together.

Creative Screenwriting quote: "I'm not really that clever, so when I find something that is really apparent to me, I concentrate and fixate on it."
– Eduardo Sanchez

Today's words and quotes

WISE WORDS TO LIVE BY
It's not so much how busy you are,
but why you are busy.
The bee is praised.
The mosquito is swatted.
~ Mary O'Connor

WORDS OF SUCCESS
"If you are going to let fear of poverty govern your
life...your reward will be that you will eat, but you
will not live."
-- George Bernard Shaw

YAHOO HOROSCOPE
You're out for nothing but the very finest in companions. So -- should you dismiss the entire soccer team unceremoniously? Yep. But keep the captain on retainer.

Bringing it back around

I start my new job any day now. Just waiting for them to send me my nice golf shirt to wear and packet of information to hand out. Yippee skippy.

Still on the look out for a teaching job for the upcoming school year. If you see anything, help a brother out.

Lots of movie ideas in my head. This documentary on money is still pounding in my head, but a couple things have happened this week to push up the idea of this script I've been thinking about. Paper is always cheaper than tape.

If you haven't checked it already - go take a look at this.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Beastie Boys - Hey Fuck You